I used to listen to this podcast called "weird news radio" until they decided to stop recording for good. Absolutely heartbroken I was. Until I decided it is now time for world domination of weird. I found all their old sources of information, hence which, weird shit shall now be bestowed upon you all!
So, from forthwidth, it shall be Weird News Friday! Enjoy!
Weird News Friday 1st March
(oh fek i just realised its MARCH)
Gallon Smashing
A youtube video of 'Gallon-sized' proportion!
For those of you unfamiliar with the term, here is an explanation;
1. Head to your nearest supermarket and slam a large container of milk into the ground, breaking the carton open.
2. Drop to the floor, writhe around in milk and feign injury.
3. Shamefully look on as a teary cleaner on £3.68 an hour mops up the aftermath of your art.
No one has yet offered to be my camera-person for my epic recreation of this video in which I aim to smash many bottles of wine down the local ASDA, accidently drinking the contents. Applications should be sent directly ro me via the normal channels, facebook, twitter or owl-mail.
I wonder if these supermarkets are sticking to the addage "breakages must be paid for"?
Bong's Away
Marijuana cannon used to hurl drug parcels over US border seized by police.
Yes, you did infact read that correctly.. To much dissapointment, (awwwww) the US border agency have confiscated the makeshift device used to fire "bundles of weed" over the US/Mexico border. May many americans suffer in the wake of weedless withdrawal symptoms!
How to make a Marijuana Cannon (Step-by-step guide, for idiots)
1. Locate one large plastic pipe.
2. Attach said plastic pipe to a metal tank using compressed air from a car engine.
3. Load with well-wrapped packages (of up to 13.6kg).
4. Fire weed over your grandmas fence.
DISCLAIMER - If you actually try this, I am in no way responsible for any accident or injury that may occur, you thick c$%^!
I WUFF Humans
Meanwhile, this week, a South African is claiming that a dog bit her daughter, BECAUSE IT IS RACIST.
Ms Nkosi states "I feel the dog is racist, the way it behaved, it shows that it was not familiar with other races"
Look at the racist canine!! Im not even sure which race he has a problem with, maybe its humans in general. All troll the racist dog!!
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| http://metro.co.uk/2013/02/27/woman-claims-dog-that-bit-her-daughter-is-racist-3518677/ |
And so it appears the drug cannons have not yet been removed from the border between North and South Africa. This woman is seriously on crack surely?
The Intelligence of Mansfield Shoplifters (Dumb Criminals)
Now this may not be true, but a conversation I overheard yesterday which was extremely funny.
Old couple claim a group of 5-6 masked lads aged 14-25 burst into CarPhone warehouse in mansfield and continued to steal 60-70 phones from the displays. The staff are not allowed to confront the masked gang and so the old woman claimed "my Bill here, whacked on of them round the back with this" gestering to her shopping trolley and fairly well aged Husband.
DISCLAIMER - The names and genders of these characters have been masked to protect the identity of these witness from the idiot burgulars who probably havent yet learnt to read.
The saviours of us all, Bill must be hailed.. But this is a small comedic addage to the story.
We all know those display phones are not actual phones, they dont work. Well done lads, well done. Here is what an education at Brunts Secondary School teaches you. I hope you all get sent down for 6 years for theiving some toy phones... DUMB CRIMINALS you are!
I am yet to find a news article to prove this actually took place, if you see one, please again, contact me via the usual channels!
(KFC) Kentucy Fried Crap (Lunch Warning)
Yes I do intend on constantly reminding people that KFC is disgusting and that they should never eat it. But for once I have a little friend who is backing me up on this.
A student got more than he bargained for when he bought a Wicked Variety Meal from fast food chain KFC and found a wrinkled kidney and "almost a complete spine".
Yes you heard it.. a neuroscience student. So he knows his chicken thigh from his chicken spine... TASTY. A lot of you out there could have very easily eaten this drunk without realising, or maybe you already have! And for added stomach wrenching fun, here is a picture of it! Oh Joy!
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| http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/02/25/student-james-lally-finds-wrinkled-kidney-brain-kfc-meal_n_2757933.html?utm_hp_ref=uk-weird-news |
Spoken like a true hero, the genius states he didnt complain because "they would just come out with the same corporate crap they came out with last time", like kidneys, brains "all-most entire" spines... He also says hes not interested in vouchers for free KFC, no wonder, neither are we!
That brings an end to this week wierd bag of shite!
Hope you enjoyed it (and wernt just about to tuck into a KFC)
Heres the weblink for the original podcast, old episodes still available to download at your perusal http://weirdnewsradio.com/. A great show that used to whittle away many hours of bathtime!
lol Very amusing! Gonna grab myself a KFC now ;)
ReplyDeleteYou offered me a chicken thigh today...not impressed now I know what you mean by thigh. I will be your camera man, I may need some camouflage though, to blend in.
ReplyDeleteYour Mansfield criminals amused me second most, they are morons, but the gallon prank did make me snigger like a child of 13, who being from Mansfield has no proper education.